Reclaiming My Voice

Terry was looking down at his breakfast when I slipped my phone onto the table between us.

If there’s one thing I learned after joining the speaking group he founded - Find Your Voice - it’s that Terry has a strong opinion about phones at meetings. Never mind during meals. Our breakfast meeting involved both.

He had just finished sharing how he found his own voice in his mid-50s, and how that discovery led to a simple realization: businesses don’t lack good ideas - they lack people who feel safe articulating them.

“…and as you know…” he said, pausing for another bite, “…communication has really fallen over the years.”

That’s when I slid my phone between us and asked, “Why do you suppose that is?”

He looked up, eyes flaring. I smiled and pointed at the phone. His grin nearly cost him his bite.

He’s right.

As a parent of five digital natives, my wife and I fought to keep these attention-bandits away from our kids as long as we could. Somewhere along the line, we caved too. My own curiosity fits perfectly into this era - a forest fire of question marks is now easily hosed down by Google, Audible, YouTube… and now GPT.

I never chose a career that felt worthy of six years of college debt. Instead, I consumed education à la carte. While managing at Fred Meyer, I enrolled in every course the Fred Meyer Institute offered. When I maxed out my CEUs, I asked permission to take supervisory-level courses. I audited college classes not for credit, but for usefulness - accounting to speak with my accountant, photography before the internet made it easy, and eventually, public speaking.

I wanted to communicate better behind the camera.

That desire took me into ten years with an international speaker-training organization, POWERtalk International, where I photographed confident speakers from all over the world. It both inspired and intimidated me. As Terry would say, I hadn’t found my voice yet.

Unlike my inaugural nature photography, my “behind the scenes” gigs require me to direct those who share my discomfort with the camera.

I knew this the night my boss asked me to cover a dinner for her - a room full of executives. What she didn’t mention was that she was supposed to present an employee award.

I found out when the Division VP called my store name.

My body walked forward. My mind disappeared.

I don’t remember what I said. I remember the water pitcher shaking when I sat down. People smiled. “That was great,” they said. I just wanted my hand to stop shaking as I reached for the pitcher of water at our table.

After capturing Queen Noor of Jordan with several VIPs in 2006, I had to hop in one as well… a job and action I couldn’t have completed without newfound confidence from public speaking.

By the time of my next presentation, alcohol had become my crutch. Three gin and tonics and I was ready to speak at my dad’s retirement party. Eventually, I decided I wanted to face a microphone without any such primers.

Fast-forward to 2018. A car accident left me with a traumatic brain injury. Speech therapy became part of my recovery - organizing thoughts, finishing sentences, finding words again. The voice I had worked so hard to build was suddenly gone.

Years later, watching myself on video at a Chamber event, I saw it clearly. I was functional, but not fluent. The muscle had atrophied.

Then a friend invited me to a Find Your Voice meeting.

Have you ever noticed that the more you clean, the more you see what’s still dirty?

That was me.

Sitting across from Terry at breakfast, listening to how he built this group to help others articulate what already lives inside them, something clicked. This wasn’t about becoming a “great speaker.” It was about removing fear - fear that quietly limits careers, relationships, and moments that matter.

I see now how easily gratitude turns into awkwardness at events meant to honor others. How important moments get hijacked by nerves. How confidence behind a camera, a podium, or a table doesn’t come from talent alone - it comes from voice.

Just a couple months into weekly attendance, I’m remembering how common this fear really is - and how unnecessary it can be with the right support.

If you’re curious about Find Your Voice, CLICK HERE to learn more, or simply email me for more info. I’m happy to invite you to a meeting so you can experience firsthand what a supportive, practical, and refreshingly ego-free space this is.

It’s the most effective speaking environment I’ve experienced since my POWERtalk days - and the most human.

After finally saying yes to networking, I dove all-in by saying yes to the role of Education Coordinator. Why?.. because it once scared the bejesus out of me. Practice, practice, practice… Feared, no more.

This video is a great example of why I re-joined a speaking group. Speaking off-the- cuff, unscripted has inhibited my marketing.

My “audible pauses” have dwindled, but did you count how many times I said the word “below?..” HA

The more we clean, the easier it is to find the dirt. Just working to clean up my clarity…